The Love of A Grandmother
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The crises began on Sunday evening February 8th although it seems to have gone on much longer than that. My mother was taken to the local hospital by rescue squad. She ended up spending a week at the hospital while they tested and poked trying to find the reason for her sudden weakness, shortness of breath and difficulty swallowing food or drink. She came home on Friday the 13th.
There have been many tender moments between my two daughters and their grandmother. Both girls are very close to Nana and even though she is very frail at 85 they see her as still the one they love to laugh and play with.
My thoughts have gone back to that afternoon when I arrived home from Russia with six month old Noelle in my arms. Sure enough Nana and Papa were right there waving wildly with excitement at seeing their first grandchild. I remember it well.
I’ll never forget the night a few days before I left to adopt when my mom and I traveled to Wal-Mart in Fredericksburg to buy boxes and boxes of cigarettes. Both of us were so uncomfortable going through the checkout but enjoyed doing it together.
Living only two blocks from my parents’ home, Nana and Papa have been an integral part of my daughters’ lives. Many, many meals have been shared and events celebrated.
So this is a sad time for us as we tend our beloved Nana. My precious girls will always remember the loving moments, the tear splashed conversations. Through it all their sense of God’s Forever Love is growing stronger and deeper. With one voice they frequently say “Thank you, Nana, for all you mean to us. Your life has made all the difference to us.”
So hold your grandparents closely. Life passes all too quickly. Cherish them while you have them. Weave the wonder of their lives into the life of your adopted child. You’ll always be glad you did.
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No Greater Love
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Years ago I wished that I could have ripped Valentines Day off the calendar. I was a single young woman and that was the one day that I felt unloved, lonely and forgotten.
But today its one of my favorite days to celebrate. God used the love of a little child to change it for me and teach me what love really is.
Yes, I remember well those Valentines Days of years long past when I, an elementary teacher, would watch with pain as the florist delivered beautiful flower arrangements to women who taught at my school. Husbands and fiances surely knew how to communicate
their love on that day. And although I was happy for all these women I still responded with feeling left out, unclaimed and unwanted.
I also remember the year when I began to concentrate on others who needed a touch of God’s love on that day. Buying special cards to bless the lives of women whether widows or singles, became an annual tradition which brought so much joy. The more I looked around me and listened to His Heart of love for all the more Valentines
Day became transformed into a delightful day of praise. My hurting feelings no longer dominated my life or that day. I was beginning to understand His Song of Love.
But there was more for me to learn. In 1993 on Christmas Eve I adopted a precious little baby girl in Russia. It was a
miracle moment which I will never forget. As I gazed into her little face with those big brown eyes I sensed in a powerful way God’s love for me. My heart responded with adoration and humility knowing that He knew my needs all the time and He had given me
this special child to parent for Him.
Our Valentines Day became an annual Jesus Loves Me party. Each year we hung pink and white streamers and had balloons. A luscious chocolate cake with the words Jesus Loves Me in white icing decorated the table. We played simple games and sang songs of
Jesus’ love. Valentines Day became a day we both anticipated each year with great excitement
But there was even more.
In 2000 I stepped out again into the world of adoption. After a painful failed adoption, I finally brought my second little daughter home from Russia in 2003. Jenny was and is the sweetest child with a big heart of love for everyone. As I poured my life into raising her and her big sister I realized again that holding them closely was God holding me. That welcoming them was welcoming God even more deeply into my own life.
In truth I began to see that each step of my life has been another one along the adventure of
Knowing the Heart of my Loving Father. His Love is so great it cannot be adequately described. His understanding so deep that we stumble to try to even explain it. But this one thing I am realizing the older I get. His Love is very personal for each one of us.
This Valentines Day will be filled with joy and wonder again. Jenny’birthday just happens to fall on February 14th. Could that just have been an accident? No, I know that God wanted me to know…He wants us all to know. Whether married, or single. Whether young or old. He loves you. He cares. He has not, nor ever will forget you.
If God were to paint His Love it would splash in vivid colors across the sky for all to see. Look for it. If He were to sing His Song of Love it would be heard from sea to sea.
Listen for it. Let His Love lift you out of yourself and into His Love more and more each day. And remember, there is always more.
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Knowing Your Child
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
It is important as we work to build strong families to be sensitive to not only the external or obvious need of each child but also their hidden needs. This can be done in many different ways but I will mention three here.
1) Our children must know and continue to have a sense of wonder about their personal story- their life including there adoption story. We have a special day each year in December when we celebrate the adoption of both girls. It has varied from having an open house when we invite friends and family to come to our home for food and fun, to going out to eat for a special meal with grandparents. Whatever we do we make it a point to highlight the different aspects of each girl’s adoption. We celebrate their lives and encourage them as they grow and develop in every area of their lives.
2) Our children must be taught and encouraged to celebrate their heritage as well as their present life. Over the years I have gathered and used some Russian recipes. Nothing tastes better than a hot bowl of Russian borscht or a Russian sweet. The girls enjoy learning Russian words and singing Russian songs. We have used the book Teach me Russian by Judy Mahoney and Russian Picture Word Book by Svetlana Rogers and Barbara Steadman among others. No matter what the heritage of your child make sure that you nurture it. Its part of the wonder of your child.
3) Another way to help our children meet their own needs comes from studying the unique qualities of their personality. My youngest child is artistic, deeply sensitive and very curious. My oldest daughter however is very sociable, laid back, musical and adventurous. Although they are at different developmental stages they both enjoy listening to stories whenever we gather in the family room to read a good book together. They both enjoy cooking and helping in the kitchen. They both enjoy having friends over and planning for special occasions. While the one will get involved making placemats and hanging decorations the other will be busy planning the menu and calling her friends.
In the busyness of life it is easy to parent with a one size fits all mentality. Research shows that knowing each child and helping him become has rich dividends.. Yes, it may take more time and effort but it is well worth it. Next time we will discuss more ways to build a strong adoptive family.
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