Where Is Your Confidence?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Parenting your adopted child is like nothing else. There are many rewards and countless precious moments. But there are also challenges to be faced and questions which beg for answers. Where do you turn when you don’t know what to do?
Our world emphasizes brains, money and beauty. Society esteems independence and success. So what do you do as a parent when you don’t have the answers and you don’t know what to do?
The only place to turn is to the Lord. He will give wisdom to those who seek Him. He will lead the way for those who choose to follow Him. He still heals and gives hope to the hopeless. Yes, God is faithful.
So if you are having one of those days where you just don’t know what to do, take some time to be still and look to Him. Get help from those who are familiar with adoption issues. Seek guidance from experienced counselor, coaches and professionals. And most of all, seek Him. He will never fail you.
If you are facing parenting challenges as you raise your adopted child, give me a call at 540-825-1134. Together we will find solutions. You were not meant to struggle alone.
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The Burden Bearer
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Do you ever feel inadequate in your ability to parent your adopted child? Have you ever fallen to your knees in absolute surrender pleading for God to give you what you need? Are your struggles and questions ever so intense that sometimes you feel your situation is impossible?
Every parent faces times of doubt and struggle. And some children are more challenging to raise then others. So what do you do when you feel caught between a rock and a hard place? You give it all to the Burden Bearer.
I’ll never forget that trip home from
And that wasn’t my biggest fear.
My body was exhausted from the long adoption process. Walking down the long corridors in the busy airport my legs began to tremble and trickles of sweat ran down my weary face. I didn’t know how I would make it to the terminal while carrying all my luggage.
I sensed within the strange thought to ask someone for help.
So looking around I did ask almost pleading for help. But people continued to pass me on the right and left intent on getting where they needed to go.
Then I saw him.
A small built man carrying only a brief case.
“Do you need help?” he asked coming up to my side.
In a few words I explained my desperate situation. He quickly picked up my bags and we were suddenly racing together to get to the terminal on time. I was breathing heavily when we arrived at the gate.
When I turned to say thanks he was gone. Yes, as unexpectedly as he had come, he disappeared. My Burden Bearer had carried my luggage safely until I could manage it on my own.
Today, no matter what parenting challenge you are facing, give it to your Burden Bearer.
He is more than able to not only carry it but to also give you the resources you need to help you. He is always near just waiting for you to call.
More often than not speaking to a coach or counselor who is familiar with your parenting challenges does help to lighten the load. Call to day 540-825-1134. Remember, there is always hope.
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Musings on Mother's Day
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I will never forget that day in 1993 when I became Mom. I had waited and waited it seemed like for ages but when it finally came on December 24 I felt very small, inadequate and overwhelmingly grateful. As I looked at this little bundle of love with dancing brown eyes and olive skin I was captivated by her beauty. Hmm, I still am. Once more this Mother’s Day I gave thanks to the One Who planned it all from the beginning. I gave praise to the One Who continues to give me wisdom and guidance for each step, each stage of parenting.
This year our Mother’s Day was different. Nana is now in heaven and we miss her quiet presence and loving ways. The girls and I went to the cemetery, placed a lovely wreathe of blue, yellow and white flowers there and had a sweet time of remembering. Then we celebrated by eating cheeseburgers, fries and birthday cake. It was Papa’s birthday and we helped him celebrate his day.
Everyone has a birthday. A time when their life began on earth. Some families celebrate it by a big meal, lots of friends, etc. We usually begin the day with singing the birthday song over the phone so we called Papa can sang to him. Adoption softens the heart and my girls are both sensitive to loss. Their hearts go out to their Papa who is now facing life without his partner of 62 years. Their love and care are the healing balm that helps him face each day.
Always I whisper a quiet prayer for the women who gave birth to my two precious treasures. Both girls are thriving in every way. It is a joy to see and oftentimes I wish that I could communicate that to her heart. Loss opened up the way for adoption. Out of pain came beauty. Out of ashes came beauty and so much joy.
It is always so when we give it time and allow God to work. The pains of today only prepare our hearts to give even more to others. It seems to work that way.
So thank you mothers wherever you are for loving and caring for your precious adopted children. They are special gifts from the Fathers Hand. It may not be easy but it is good. And He will faithfully guide as all along the way.
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Raising Confident Kids
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The story is told of a wise man who trained horses by building relationships with them. Day after day the man spoke with the horses individually and developed a special closeness with each one. He not only stroked the horses gently but also stretched out on them allowing the horses to get very comfortable with him. Ah, it was beautiful to see how they grew to trust the beloved Master. Sometimes the wise trainer would even allow a distraction or loud sound to occur in order to teach the horses to be calm and focused on him no matter what.
As a parent it is very important to teach our children to grow confident and secure. Life challenges us on every front. Financial struggles, health difficulties, grief and loss, school challenges – all kinds of things are threatening today’s families. Like the wise Master who knew his horses, we must continue to build strong relationships with our children one day at a time. Time spent together, focused attention, listening to the hearts of our children, and building many memories create secure bonds of love which hold our children steady through all the ups and downs of life.
The horse liked to keep his eye on the Master. Our children learn to keep their eyes on the parent who has worked to build the loving relationship. Adopted children came to us as a result of a loss of some kind. It takes the wisdom of a ‘Master’ parent to day by day build a trusting relationship which their child can depend on throughout their life. This is not always easy. It often takes alot of work.Many days might go by before you see even a glimmer of a bond growing but it is well worth the effort.
You might want to speak with a coach, someone who has worked with adopted children. If so, please give me a call at 540-825-1134.I would be glad to speak with you. May this week be an exciting week of relationship building for you and your family.
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