The Adoptive Family and Saving Money
Sunday, July 26, 2009
From the time I adopted my first child in 1993 I’ve been very budget conscious. Single Parenting is no easy feat and I realized from the beginning that I would need to not only save money wherever I could but also increase income whenever possible.
Today I’m still doing those same things. Yes, now with two children we are even more intentional with finances but I have come to realize that it has been a blessing in disguise.
On the one hand we speak about cost versus value frequently. My girls have been raised shopping for the best deal. They realize that expenditure for this might often mean doing without that. Family talks often involve sharing opinions and giving suggestions of ways to reduce bills. We celebrate small victories and make it a family win.
Three ways that we have learned to reduce costs are:
- Walk whenever you can. My office is within walking distance from our home which is a huge savings in time and gas. We also walk whenever we can. This not only is one way to promote fitness but also helps to save resources.
- Washing dishes by hand rather than use the dishwasher. We make it a family affair and have oftentimes had the greatest talks when doing this together.
- Using those freebies. When my youngest recently got a free coupon to a local fast food restaurant we shared it 3 ways. When we get a cold drink we also get 3 straws. Now we don’t do this every time but often enough that it helps us save.
What does your adopted family do? I look forward to reading your ideas.
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The Most Important Thing
Sunday, July 19, 2009
“I need more time with you,” she said looking at me with her big brown eyes.
I was talking with my youngest last May about school for the next year. Although I was homeschooling my oldest in ninth grade my youngest had been attending public school.
“What do you mean?” I asked her. I knew that I spent every minute I possibly could with my girls. But I still had to work. The daily chores had to be done. What did she mean?”
“I just never have enough time with you?” she again with persistence.
But would it ever be enough, I thought initially. There were not enough hours in the day to satisfy me much less my 8 year old.
Then I thought some more.
I had adopted her when she was just turning 3. I had had a babysitter for the first year.
Then she had gone to preschool. The following year she entered kindergarten. Yes, it was true. She never had those baby years….snuggling, long times of being held. It seemed that the pressures of life came on her much too fast.
Maybe we needed to focus on what was most important. Time together.
“So you would like to be homeschooled for third grade?” I asked. Immediately the car was filled with cheers by not only my youngest but also my oldest daughter.
I didn’t know how I would do it. I didn’t know if I could do it and manage a full practice. But I knew that I had to try. Yes, I needed to attempt to give her what she believed she needed.
Well, that was a year ago.
We completed third grade and guess what? She wants to be homeschooled again.
But this time it is different.
I know that somehow we can do it. Yes, we will pull together and juggle those demands together. And we will make sure to take time together.
In the whole spectrum of life, I’m sure that this is a decision that I will never regret.
She was right. Time together is essential.
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The Choice
Sunday, July 12, 2009
“You chose,” she said. The words hit me harder than she intended when she said them. And for the next few hours and days I’ve been pondering the deeper impact of my choice.
Yes, adoption is a choice. Adopting as a single woman is a choice. Along with that choice was the understanding that I would work hard to raise my daughters. Money might not always be abounding but we have love, laughter and life. Lots of life.
The choice to parent sometimes caused a change in relationships. Adopting at an older age also brought a change. At a time when my peers are caring for grandchildren I am parenting a teenager and an elementary age child. Instead of doing many other good things I am working,homeschooling and raising my children. A choice. My choice. Our choice.
Life is not always easy. There are no simple answers. But quite honestly the decision I made 16 years ago was a good choice for me. I look back now and am grateful for all that I have learned and experienced as the mother of two adopted children. I’m thankful for the ones along the way who have whispered words of encouragement and wisdom. I’m continuing to look forward to the days ahead with hope and excitement and adventure.
Easy? No. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
So how do you feel about your choice to adopt? Whether it’s been just weeks or many years it changed your life. Let the choices continue to build your life by surrendering the outcome to God. He’s orchestrating them anyway and we can trust Him.
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