Benefits of a Bad Economy
Monday, September 28, 2009
What impact is the economy having on our children?
Is there any way that a bad economy can benefit children?
Yes, that is the question which troubles millions of parents as family belts are tightening forcing cutbacks that affect children. Then with the holidays right around the corner, parents anticipate sad faces and disappointed looks around the Christmas tree.
But there is a silver lining. All is not bad. These challenging times offer kids some benefits if parents handle it right.
All too often we shield our children from adversity trying to keep them happy. In doing so we often deprive them of the practice they need in navigating rough waters. When facing difficult situations our children can learn valuable lessons in how to develop resilience. So the first benefit for our kids is in learning to handle disappointment.
The second is in helping our children learn appreciation and thankfulness. Less really is more. We’ve known that for years but now we have the opportunity to experience it.
It is wise for parents to acknowledge honestly the family’s reduction in resources. The resources must be shared among everyone. In so doing children learn that the needs of family and community are important along with their personal needs.
Lastly there is the potential for increased family closeness. Instead of everyone retreating into their separate corners with cell phones and iPods, parents can lead the way with family movies, baking cookies, bike rides, talking together, etc.
Yes, a bad economy can benefit our children in more ways than those listed. It’s all in how we see it.
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How Can a Coach Help?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
From time to time in my work with parents who have adopted I am asked the question, “How can a coach help?”
That is a question which I like to hear? The answer is clear. Coaching has helped so many parents. It may be just what you are looking for.
An adoption coach will not only help you understand the adoption process but also help you with the transition process into parenting an adopted child.
An adoption coach can help your adopted child transition smoothly into his or her new family.
An adoption coach will enhance and strengthen the new relationship between you and your adopted child.
An adoption coach will help you deal with the challenges unique to a family with adopted children.
An adoption coach can help you address marital issues resulting from adoption.
An adoption coach will help you build a healthy, happy and nurturing family that celebrated the uniqueness of each person and the unique heritage of your adopted child.
If you think that an adoption coach is what you are looking for please call me today to set up an appointment at 540-825-1134. You’ll be so glad you did.
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How to Build Attachment
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Is it just one of those days? Do you ever feel like your child will never become securely attached to you? Are you at your wits end?
Years ago when I was raising my toddler whom I had adopted from
When fostering attachment it is important to make yourself available.
Young children can rely on us and trust us only if we are present. Make every effort to manage your schedule and life so you are physically available to your children. This many mean making some tough lifestyle choices.
Work within your own circumstances to find time to be available to your children. Also try to make sure that you are mentally engaged in being available and attentive when you are with them and not just a warm body that is present. Children are sensitive and react when they sense that their parent is not engaged. They are not able to understand the reasons. It is up to us to adjust and modify our lifestyle in order to be there for them.
So whether it’s changing a diaper or answering a question, strive to give your child a warm and understanding experience with you.
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 (1=never, to 5=often)
Never seldom somewhat usually often
Availability
I make myself physically
available to my children
as much as possible, and
focus on them
Love your child and build a healthy attachment that will serve as a foundation for future successful relationships.
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Doing What You Can
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
t is all too easy to begin to focus on what is not going right, on what you are not doing as parents. We look at other children. We scrutinize their parents. We tend to compare and measure our effectiveness in relationship to others around us.
But the key to effectively parenting these precious children is in having a laser focus. That focus must be to parent them with love and wisdom to the Glory of God. We parent them to grow strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I am not able to have my children involved in numerous activities. Many times we have to bypass good things in order to keep our focus. But does it really matter that my children are not on the soccer team, taking music lessons, cheerleading, horseback riding lessons, etc.? I really don’t think so.
Years ago we decided on a family mission statement. It has helped us to maintain a focus in the midst of so many options. It has enabled us to know when to say no. It has showed us what activities fit our purpose.
Remember its focused parenting which will yield the most results. Look into developing a mission statement for your family. Decide what your purpose is and then begin to make decisions based on that. It will make a big difference. Let me know how it goes.
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