Talks Around the Table
Monday, February 22, 2010
When I was growing up one of the highlights of my day was the talks we would have around the dinner table. Whether it was school, politics or a current issue we would banter freely back and forth.
Today our talks around the table also are current topics of the day. Sometimes I enjoy presenting an adversarial opinion just to see how my girls will respond and to teach them to speak with knowledge. Oftentimes someone runs off for the dictionary or encyclopedia or the Bible to support their thoughts or opinions. Our table talks are invigorating and stretching. As a parent I learn so much from my kids. As a parent I’m challenged to keep teaching them Truth in a world of change.
Do you still make time to eat together as a family? Do you discuss matters together allowing free flowing discussions? Healthy families enjoy spending time together and one of the easiest ways to make time is around the table.
“Tell me how I’m doing as your Mom,” I ask from time to time. I need the feedback of my children. I listen to it and allow their words to matter. They also receive feedback always emphasizing strengths and growing edges. Everyone needs a pat on the back from time to time.
Yes, I encourage you to make time to talk around the table. Words spoken around our table will be remembered far beyond my lifetime.
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A Time To Celebrate
Thursday, February 11, 2010
On Sunday, Valentine’s Day, my youngest daughter will turn ten. It is hard to believe. Where have those seven years gone? I remember well that day on February 8, 2000 when we arrived home from
Yes, my dimpled charmer, will soon be ten. She has experienced so much in her short life. For the first few months she used to awaken at night screaming in terror. She battled so many fears one of which was the fear that someone would come to snatch her away. I held her in my arms for hours trying to reassure her that she was home but it took a long time for her to rest in that assurance. Policemen scared her. Loud sounds scared her. And thoughts of being taken away from Mommy scared her.
Many problems adopted children experience have nothing to do with being adopted. For example a shy child who struggles in school isn’t necessarily experiencing an adoption issue. But a child recently adopted who screams out in the night is experiencing an adoption issues.
Sometimes parents who have adopted are so thrilled to have their adopted child that they fail to discipline a child. But if any parent lets a child rule the household that parent is in for big trouble. Parents need to discipline their child appropriately always working to communicate expectations and love.
So it is important as parents to recognize what is a problem and whether it is related to adoption or not. What do you do if you think your child has a problem related to their adoption? Speak with your family doctor or pediatrician. Consult with a counselor or coach familiar with adoption issues. I can be reached at 540-825-1134.
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Book Review
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A Foster Adoption Story: Angela and Michael’s Journey
A Therapeutic Workbook for Traumatized Children
By
I was delighted to come upon this workbook written especially for traumatized children. It is written in easy to understand language and deals with various issues some of which are separation, loyalty issues, siblings and adoption. Reading it and looking at the illustrations I knew that children would find it easier to share their feelings while going through this workbook.
It tells the story of a brother and sister from when they are with their birth family until they are finally adopted. One of its strengths is how it helps parents to understand the hearts particularly the fears of these children.
This hands-on resource will be helpful for professionals, clinicians and parents. Each page includes questions and a place where answers can be written down. The pictures can be colored as you discuss the experience with your child.
I highly recommend this book for all those working in the foster adoption experience.
It will be one you will want to work through slowly and carefully.
Thank you Regina Kupecky and Christine Mitchell.
This workbook sells for $6.95 at Amazon.com and CreateSpace.com
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