Helping Adopted Children Grieve
Monday, April 20, 2009
Adopted children have already experienced loss in their lives. So when they encountered a new loss they need even more help to grieve and then move forward. There are things that parents can do to build a spirit of resilience in their children. It is important to talk with them about their grief and loss, help their children learn to cry and help them to find positive ways to express their feelings –physical activities, praying and crying.
- Talking with our children about their past and their sense of loss is so important. Listening to them share their feelings. Being there for them and growing in our understanding of them encourage them to share even more.
- Adopted children to not always know how to cry. My youngest is clearly asensitive girl. She did not know how to cry in the beginning. It took times ofshowing her my tears and talking about the importance of letting ourselves cryfor her to begin to let herself cry. Many times the environment where our children first lived not only did not encourage tears but also probably discouraged them.
- It’s also important for children to learn ways to express their feelings. Physical activities provide a healthy outlet for our children to work out their feelings. Teaching them to pray and express their hearts to their Heavenly Father Who cares for them soothes their aching souls. Journaling and drawing their feelings also are helpful activities which give adopted children a way to work out their grief.
No two children are the same. Get to know your child and help them to work through their grief. Children are amazing. Listen to them and in the process you too will learn. I always do.
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