Parenting Through the Grief Process
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Our beloved Nana died last Tuesday, April 7, 2009. She, who had been such an important part of our lives, will always be missed. Dealing with my own grief as well as the pain of my two daughters has been a daily process which will continue for some time. God is faithfully carrying us through and in the midst of the pain there are still glimpses of joy.
Grief is messy. It hits you when you least expect it. With that in mind I'm taking extra time to spend with my daughters. Together we talk and cry and remember. All too often parents get caught up in their own loss and they fail to see the needs of their children. My girls have needed long talks on Mommy’s bed, extra patience and a relaxed pace.
I not only give them permission to cry but I also allow myself to cry with them. Research shows that what is not grieved out will come out in our bodies other ways. We have continued to laugh and take long walks. We have allowed others to support us as well.
The glimmers of joy surprise us. Sometimes it’s a kind note or a neighbor bringing by an apple pie. Sometimes it’s a thoughtful message left on our phone. Sometimes it’s a big hug or someone just choosing to ‘be there’. The joy fills out moments like sunshine flooding a dark room.
We will continue to open our lives to receive the joy that is there. We will focus on all that was gift in Nana’s life. Through these days we will become stronger and even more prepared to comfort others.
Life is gift. May we all hold our precious children tenderly knowing they all belong to Him, the author of Life.
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