Single Parenting and Toddler Adoption
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Single parenting is challenging with a child of any age. All too often singles think that raising a toddler will be easier than an infant. In fact though a toddler may well be much more demanding but in different ways. Although I had had an easy experience parenting my first daughter who I adopted as an infant, my second daughter who was two by the time I brought her home, challenged me deeply. Extended family and a circle of friends helped in many ways but there were still times when my energy reserves were depleted. But it was worth it all. Today she is a beautiful, confident eight year old.
Remember toddlers are developmentally trying to become independent. With a strong self focus they frequently resist parental limits. A child who is adopted as a toddler is not only dealing with normal developmental stages but is also grieving. Many days my daughter would go along with what was expected of her but then without warning she could lapse into an angry outburst challenging all limits. Any efforts to reason with her were met with resistance. She wanted her way no matter what. Lap times were essential as well as firm, consistent limits.
Single parents need some time away from parenting to reenergize andand refocus. Some toddlers can be so demanding that the parent also needs help. If that is your story please consider talking with an adoption coach who is familiar not only with adopted children but also the challenges of parenting them. Problems can often be turned around if faced directly. You deserve that and so does your child.
Finally, if you are a single parent be encouraged today. Don't hesitate to ask for help. You are worth it!
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