The Next Step Is Up To You
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Time and time again parents are confronted with difficult moments with their children. The person who said that parenting is not for cowards had it right. We are stretched in our patience, challenged and almost teased with “What are you going to do about this?”
Parents of adopted children face this even more as a result of so many factors one of which is attachment difficulties.
Since healthy attachment to a caregiver is necessary for cognitive, emotional, social and behavioral development, individuals with RAD often experience difficulties in these areas. Problems in attachment have been shown to impact an individual’s ability to relate to others.
So what can a parent do if there is no specialist in attachment disorders in their area? Traditional counseling is often ineffective since it relies upon the establishment of a therapeutic relationship. No, in these cases the parents must become “experts” in addressing their child’s condition. Read about attachment disorders. Become involved with online support groups. And also be willing to try different parenting strategies.
Instead of explaining why your child should not do something, allow him/her to see the consequences of his behavior…for himself. Be focused on what you are looking for in your child rather than fixating on the undesirable behaviors. Instead of waiting to praise the attainment of a goal, look to reinforce the approximation of desirable behavior .. particularly the ones that involve social relatedness.
Look for every opportunity to model healthy social interactions for your child. Instead of trying to find a specialist to fix your child, find a counselor or coach whom you feel comfortable with. Get the support you need to provide guidance along the parenting journey. It will make all the difference.
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