Toddler Adoption
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Each adoption is different.
I adopted my two girls from Russia. My oldest was six months old when I brought her home. She adjusted quickly. From the beginning she slept soundly through the night, ate well and enjoyed people. Today at fifteen she still has that easy going personality.
Yes, my first adoption went so well I was not prepared for the difficulties of adopting a toddler. Although I had read books and talked with others who had adopted a toddler even that did not quite prepare me for the struggles we had in the beginning.
Jenny was two when I brought her home from Russia. She turned three the next week and we celebrated with balloons and a big cake. Even though I still remember many wonderful moments I can also remember the difficulty she had adjusting. She slept lightly and woke up numerous times each night. Many times she experienced night terrors. I remember waking up to high pitched screams and running to her room to comfort her.
New experiences were difficult so we went slowly in exposing her to different things. Only eating was a consistent pleasure. Other than that there were constant energy draining struggles. But today she is a well adjusted eight year old who handles change in stride.
What helped me through those difficult days of adjustment? Knowing that it wouldn't last forever. I realized that adjusting is just that. Adjusting. That the present struggle was not a statement about the future. My dear daughter had experienced tremendous loss and pain in her short life before I adopted her. It would take time and consistently meeting her needs to help her heal and grow. I often look back on that period and wonder how we made it. One secret was the determination to take one day at a time. Staying focused on what I could do for just that one day to help her in her growth and adjustment was something I could do. Having a positive mental attitude was something I could develop and maintain.
Using that same skill works well today. We often tell ourselves, "Just for today I can..." Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Posted in Adoption | No Comments
Reply to this Post: